(14 Jan 1998)
Enter MrFlibble, centre.
Welcome, gentle reader.
We join our friends today as they execute a vicious plan, full of deceit, cunning and envy. Rasputin and trui have this very day just had their first date, and the locals are more than simply eager to find out how everything went. They've managed to convince trui and curly to disguise themelves as Oddd and cz, and lay in wait for Rasputin's arrival, and find out what he really thinks.
The troubles begin.
Exit MrFlibble, centre.
Curtains open.
The scene begins with Chipdancer, Iter, aj, fuzzyBSc, and zuul scattered around the room, conspiring amongst themselves. curly, disguised as cz, and trui, disguised as oddd, are sitting in a dark corner, whispering to each other. fuzzyBSc eagerly rubs his hands together...
<fuzzyBSc> aj: I wanna see sparks! <glee>
Enter Rasputin, stage left. The plotters are caught unawares.
<cz> how long does it take him? <Chipdancer> fuzy, be quiet <aj> fuzz! <Chipdancer> you're a pain <aj> rasp! <aj> even
Fortunately, though, Rasputin seems blithely ignorant of the subterfuge.
<Rasputin> hiya peeps
<Chipdancer> heya rasp :)
<aj> sheesh.
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Howdy.
<Iter> Hi rasp.
<aj> how'd the date go?
* Chipdancer giggles
<Rasputin> aj: A gentleman never tells :P
<Chipdancer> rasp: yer not a gentleman!!! :P
<aj> rasp: yeah, so...?
<Rasputin> nar, it was cool
<Iter> rasp: ahhh now that's no fun :)
<Chipdancer> yer a tiger, remember, "like a tiger!"
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Where'd you take her?
<aj> fuzz: !!!
<aj> fuzz: oh. you don't mean that.
<Rasputin> being dragged through the fairy shop and having
sparkles being put in your hair, you ahve to have fun :)
<aj> rasp: so trui did the french thing?
<Iter> rotfl.
<Rasputin> meesha fainlly stopped fscking
<Iter> aj: behave!!!
<Iter> <g>
<Rasputin> aj: this is my fantasy, step out please :)
<aj> rasp: french _maid_ thing.
<aj> sheesh.
<Rasputin> aj: nope, she's the nurse remember
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: So have you convinced her to come to the
next humbug meet then?
<Rasputin> sigh.,.. meesha's now doing the quota thing
ð Chipdancer laffs
<Rasputin> fuzzy: she'll be coming indeed
<Rasputin> and I'll be picking her up
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Stop trying to change the subject.
* aj notices how rasp keeps trying to change the subject.
<Iter> ras: nicely phrased! :)
<Rasputin> he he
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Are you two official yet?
<aj> rasp: so when're you going out next?
* aj is going in a sec.
<Rasputin> aj: no idea
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: We both are. We want the third degree
now.... :)
<Chipdancer> where are you going aj??
aj races away screaming `argggh... bus driver! wait! please!'. Exit aj, stage right.
<Rasputin> dunno, I'm just interested in having some fun :)
<Rasputin> louise is a lot of fun to be with
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Smitten.
<Chipdancer> I was thinking that too fuz
* Rasputin blushes
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: No details? Must be serious.
* Rasputin fwaps fuzzy
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Copying mannerisms then? Hmmm.
<Rasputin> let me _try_ to read my email in peace
<Chipdancer> no
<Rasputin> oh fine...
* Rasputin pulls another sparkle out of his hair
<Iter> rasp: what about "bite me!" :)
<Rasputin> I didn't get bitten once, but she almost hit the driver ;)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Weren't you the driver...?
<Rasputin> yes
<Iter> OK, what did you say!?
<Rasputin> for some strange reason, she likes to have the driver
leave his hands on the stearing wheel, don't understand it but
anyway
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: So where did you go driving, just around
the city?
<Rasputin> > You could say that the Titanic had a floating
point exception of its own.
<Rasputin> fuzzy: we went up mt cottha
<Rasputin> cootha even
<Rasputin> coottha even or however it was spelt
<Chipdancer> coot-tha is nice
<Rasputin> thanks chip, thats what I was looking for
<fuzzyBSc> "I had the best laid plans this side of America..."
* fuzzyBSc jigs.
* Rasputin giggles, his little sister is right over my shoulder
wanting to know what terminal thinks
<Rasputin> she wants to tease him about it (as a pay back :)
<Rasputin> he's allegedly a big meany
<Chipdancer> coot-tha is a nice cycle too!
<Rasputin> chip: louise was laughing at some guys riding up it
in the rain
<Rasputin> on a rainy day, I'd much prefer be in a car for that ride :)
<fuzzyBSc> :)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: So, does she like you?
<Rasputin> fuzzy: I dunno... I really dunno
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: Smitten.
<Rasputin> fuzzy: who?
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: You.
<Rasputin> barh, bite me ;)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: "I dunno... I really dunno" :) The words
of a smitten man.
<Iter> ahh now here we have the "bite me" :)
* Chipdancer laughs
<fuzzyBSc> Iter: :)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: I think it's nice.
<Rasputin> fuzzy: well she's rather nice too
<Rasputin> shuddup chip about the age difference
* Rasputin readies a heavy iron in case chip sez anything
<Chipdancer> I didn't say nuthin :)
<Chipdancer> only 3 years
<Rasputin> 2 1/4
<Chipdancer> yah sure
<Iter> I was considering the age difference before. There isn't
one to speak of.
<Rasputin> iter: well the major thing is that I'm in my third
year of uni, she hasn't left high school
<Rasputin> theres a few years there
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: What's that? That's only 10% difference.
Don't you let Mr Chips tell you anything different :)
<zuul> Rasputin: 2-1/4 is nothing, that funny Greek chick
at work is 15 :)
<Rasputin> ouch... I just noticed my irc client go "Wuff!! --
Wuff!!" at me
<zuul> Rasputin: hmmm, maybe that girl is a bit too funny...
<Rasputin> sigh... my outing with louise is all the goss with my
little sister atm
<zuul> oh well... women
<fuzzyBSc> zuul: You're saying you like a girl who you call the
"funny Greek chick"? I won't be acting as your matchmaker in a
hurry ;)
<Rasputin> I think it may hgave been the keyword Greek in there
<Rasputin> fuzzy: there, its the Greek word methinks
<zuul> Rasputin: don't get smart boy :)
* Rasputin starts hunting in his irc script
<zuul> hehehe
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: What do you reckon about Curly?
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: I really love her hair :)
<Rasputin> fuzzy: its funky hair, but she's too quiet for me
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: :)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: You know you can't let her think you don't
like her friends.
* zuul is having trouble finding cute _intelligent_ women.
<fuzzyBSc> zuul: That's because all the intelligent ones are as
quiet as you, and you never meet. I have the same problem
myself :)
<fuzzyBSc> Rasputin: So when are you meeting her again?
<Rasputin> have to go guys,,, see you later... damn, my client
did the wuff wuff thing again
<Rasputin> cya peeps
<Rasputin> take later
<Rasputin>
Exit Rasputin stage left.
* Chipdancer grins <fuzzyBSc> /log off <Chipdancer> how was that?? not what you were after??
curly unmasks herself.
<curly> is it safe? <fuzzyBSc> Curly: It's safe.
trui follows suit, ecstatic to be free of the charade at last.
<trui> fsck!!! <trui> that <trui> waz <trui> torture <fuzzyBSc> Trui: :) * Chipdancer laughs
curly, though, thinks differently.
<curly> that was funny
<Iter> curly: You didn't find it torture?
<curly> Iter - why would I find it torture?
<trui> curly: it was not!!!
<Iter> curly: well trui seemed to :)
* curly wonders if rasp did a /whois on trui and I
<curly> Iter - thats because it was about trui
<fuzzyBSc> curly: Maybe. I think he was too preoccupied though.
<trui> the only problem for me is the age thingy
<trui> which is maybe not so good...
<fuzzyBSc> trui: Girls mature about two years before guys.
You're the same age :)
<trui> :)
* fuzzyBSc thinks he shouldn't have turned off the log quite so early
<curly> uh oh, stalkers back
<trui> ewww
<curly> and he made pam leave
<zuul> fuzzyBSc: i dunno, all the 17 y.o's i meet are
pretty silly, not exactly what i'd call "mature"
<fuzzyBSc> zuul: Some aren't. Quite a few 19 and 20 year olds
I wouldn't go out with for the same reason.
<trui> zuul: i just like having fun :)
* fuzzyBSc leaves the rest for the girl side of the force to sort out
for themselves.
<trui> :)
* fuzzyBSc is gone. Gone to get some work done. You can find me in
the myer centre gazing into my beloved lillian.
<fuzzyBSc> Trui: Stalker?
<curly> fuzzy stalker is matthew
<trui> stalker is someone from school
<curly> stalker is a stalker
<curly> what is fuzzy doing in the myer centre?
<fuzzyBSc> Curly: That's where I get productive work done.
Some-time between the hours of 6pm and 11:25pm I'm at my most
productive. The myer centre is the place with least
distractions.
<fuzzyBSc> Curly: There's a powerpoint near the bus stop under
the myer centre on the casino end of the mall.
<trui> it's too noisy for me
<curly> fuzzy ahh okay. It usually always distracts trui and I
Exit zuul, centre curtain.
* trui has to go eat dinner now...
* curly has to go too
<fuzzyBSc> Curly, Trui: Under the centre, where the busses are
is where there are no people and no internet.
<fuzzyBSc> trui, curly: I hope you've learned something.
<fuzzyBSc> trui, curly: I hope you won't hold it against me, us
or Rasputin :)
<curly> Anyway it was.... interesting. Bye all
Exit curly, stage left.
<trui> fuzzy: i have. to be afraid. to be very afraid :)
<trui> curly hates it when i am like this...
<fuzzyBSc> Trui: <nods, smiles>
* Chipdancer laughs
<Chipdancer> like what trui?
<trui> chip: shuddup :)
<fuzzyBSc> Trui: You and me, we are alike. That's why I say
you could be a hacker. Goodbye.
<trui> when i _might_ like someone or not...
<trui> bye fuzzy!
<trui> that is ALL i am saying.
<trui> is anyone even here still!?
<Iter> yes.
<trui> groovy :)
<Chipdancer> what did I say??
<Chipdancer> I missed it all, I'm working
<trui> chip: you and your little 'chip laughs' :)
* trui really has to go now, cos oddd'll be mad if i stay on too much
longer
<trui> this is smegged :)
<Iter> bye trui.
<trui> bye iter. thanks for listening :)
Curtain close.
Enter MrFlibble, centre.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bots and lurkers, that tale has ended, but even as we speak, more are unravelling themselves in #humbug. But before we continue to other tales, we must ask ourselves, what can we learn from this torrid sequence of events?
There are a few possibilities. It's possible that you should never fall for anyone from IRC. Possible, yes, but not an option your average computer geek wants to rule out. It's also possible that you should take the precaution of never discussing your love life on IRC. Or that gossip is a stronger force than friendship.
But in truth, none of these are the moral of this story.
The moral of this story is this: When it comes to IRC, there are no friends.
You'd do well to remember it, gentle reader.
Exit MrFlibble.
This script was based on a true story, as recorded in the Boredom Log of zer0