Date: 08 Dec 1997 23:08:44 +1000
From: Anthony Towns <>
Subject: Re: Newbie Alert!
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan
Organization: Lacking
Message-ID: <>
References: <>
(with minor corrections) (LdyKaurya) writes:

> Hello. I am a newbie. And I admit it. Deal with it. :) 

Hi, welcome to rasfwr-j! I'm Anthony, and I have the good fortune of
being your host for this post. Feel free to look around, watch the
natives in action and all the rest. 

> I've heard a lot about
> this Newsgroup from th WOT index, and I decided I'd join. hello. Please don't
> hurt me. Well, at least not too badly! 

Speaking of which, you should probably trim your line lengths to about
75 characters. It seems to be right on eighty at the moment, which
makes it a pain to quote (the "> " stuff above). You also probably
should add a double-dash-and-space ("-- ") before your .signature (the
``Beth, wannabe Aes Sedai'' bit), before the Free Agent people start
whining again...

Before you go too much further, though a few words of warning: please
don't bring any fruit or vegetables into the froup, there seems to be
a strange Swedish fungi about and we're in quarantine at the
moment. Karl-Johan Noren's looking into it though, so we should have
the problem in hand soon. If you have any hallucinogenics please
wander over and talk to Darkelf (if you can find him, he seems to have
gone underground; if you really need to contact him, talk to his (and
indeed, everyone's) lawyer, Flavio), he'll inform you of any tarrifs,
or specials this month.

Would you like the guided tour? They're cheap this month, since you've
just missed the September rush, if we can still call it that. You would?
Great! Grab a hat and follow me!

This is the main entryway, it's generally a bit quiet, with only a few
tourists wandering around looking dazed and occassionally yelling
things at people. There's a bit of activity at the moment though, I
suspect one of the locals felt like a bit of entertainment. Probably
Novak, he gets his thrills in the strangest ways. See the guy on the
street corner over there raving at passers-by? That's Magnus. He's a
bit weird, but once you get to know him he's okay. See the guy in the
building opposite, about third story? You can see the glint from the
sun on his sniper rifle if you look carefully. That's Richard
Bollinger, he's about to take out Magnus I think. Don't mention
religion where he can hear. That gun, by the way? Same one they used
to kill JFK. Looks like the Cabal (TINC) left it lying around and
Richard thought he'd get some use out of it.

If we keep on going down this street, we come to the seedier streets
of rasfwr-j. You'll notice how busy it is. It's always like this. All
day, and all night. A few people here have morals, but we try not to
pick on them too much. The famous Mooing Rouge is just down here,
better known perhaps as the Loy Pastures. The cows, you'll notice, are
remarkably happy. We take very good care of the livestock around
here. And look!  There's Mark Loy now. Uh, yeah, the one leering at
you. That's our Mark. Uh, perhaps we'd better move on. Oh, if you come
back (and you will, oh, yes, you will...), just watch out for a big
guy who makes obscure quotes, or trys to talk physics with you. That's
Chad, the local pimp. If anyone starts causing you trouble just scream
out for Lara -- she distracts most people for long enough for you to
make good your escape. If she starts making suggestions about
lime-jello, though, you might like to stay anyway.

This alley way, we're passing? Don't go down it. Trust me. It's a dead
end. The only thing down there is Bill and Hawk's place. Wait 'til you
have a warder. Or three. You'll need them. Ah, here we are. Tshen's
mansion signals the end of the seedier side of town. It's an...
interesting place to visit. I recommend you do sometime, although it's
a little, how should I put this? Odd.

The centre of town's this way. It's modelled in the ancient Roman
style, with both a forum, and a colloseum. People tend to flow freely
between the two, and if you're not careful you'll find yourself
dragged along with them. Don't worry about it too much; if you find
the lions start to bother you, you're quite free to wander on up to
stands and watch. John Dillick, just over the way? Sidle up to him,
sometime, he's often got some popcorn or beer he's happy to share when
the really good shows are on. Hmmm. What's on at the moment? Ah. The
abortion thing. The theatrics they're using are a little tasteless for
me, and probably for most people who aren't heading for a career in
surgery, I'm afraid. We've had some good'uns in the recent past
though: Unicorns flying around, ancient people sailing from one side
of the world to another, people digging up platinum in their backyard
and finding it engraven with the words of God -- hey, look, there's
Kozlowski now! Hi Mike! How's the translation going? -- you name
it. Better'n TV most of the time. Novak's especially entertaining when
he's around, although he's definately in the Parental-Guidance
Recommended bracket.

Over this way's the local university. Computer science is in the
nearest building, if you go much closer you'll probably be able to
hear them arguing. They keep to themselves most of the time, but if
you say something that they take the wrong way the whole town's liable
to be swamped with their inane acronyms. Actually, I don't know why I
keep saying "they". I mean "we", as you can tell from the building
directory; that's me in between Dave Rothgery and Allister... oh
Cripes. They've mispelled his damn name _again_. _Alistair_ Young.
We'll really have to talk to someone about that. Christian Conrad and
Jeff Vinocur seem to have gone on sabbatical or something; they've
even had their names taken off the board. Remind me to ask someone
about that.

A little further on is Physics. Chad spends his days here, with Andrea
and Aaron, all of them on the forefront of the advancement of human
knowledge, or something like that. Most of it's non-sensical in one way
or another, but they seem to enjoy it, so we try to take an interest
where we can. Maths is just over there, but it doesn't have any
permanent residents, Aaron and I and a few others try to keep it in
decent upkeep, but you know how it is...

Engineering's on the other side of campus -- just in case they do
something dangerous and blow themselves up. They're like that, the
engineers, always blowing stuff up. Especially Novak. If you'd like to
visit, we can, but... no? Okay, how about we visit the token Arts
department? Hey, there's Kate, she's part of the Kabal, the
K-collective, or the K^4 entity, however they happen to be known the
week.  Karl-Johan, Paul Khangure, Kate, and Kurt Montandon. They're a
loosely nit group who like to go around FAQing people. You should talk
to them sometime, you seem to fulfil their membership requirements...

Kate's one of the newer Aes Sedai, and she's fairly helpful to
novices and the Accepted. Scottina B. Good's another. Scottina's
actually an interesting case: she's an early experiment in letting the
Bond be partially in the control of her Warders. It seems to have
worked fairly well, though, and all involved ended up happy, so it
might be worth thinking about when your own time comes.

Then of course, there's Angela. Angela Furry. She did the unspeakable
to her warders. Noone's really sure whether she used the One Power,
or... something else. All we know is that one day her Warders were
four seperate and distinct people, Rob Strong, Trond V. Erlandsen,
Robert Pfeifer, and C.D. Skogsberg, and the next, a strange being
known as C.D. Strondifer.

The library we're passing is pretty extensive. Any books you want,
you'll find them here; but unfortunately it's not very well organised,
and there isn't a librarian. There are a few people who'll happily
point out some highlights though. Flavio Carrillo tends to live in the
Military-History section, by the way. I'm not sure if it's next to the
Law department by happy coincidence or if he "arranged" things that

What do you think of the graffiti on the walls around here? Richard
Boye' handles most of the vandalism in this section, accomplished
artist that he is. He claims to be involved in the legal atmosphere,
but we're fairly sure he spends most of his time doodling. It
certainly shows.

And that's about it. Wander around some more, and get to know the
place. If you ever get lost, look for Emma Pease or Pam Korda, who are
in the minority of the froup who'll invite you in for tea and biscuits
without having ulterior motives in mind.

> Beth, wannabe Aes Sedai 

And congratulations on entry into your Noviate.