(To the tune of the song of the same name, track two on www.tism.wanker.com. Sing along if you want.)

You run DOS or you run Unix,
Where does your heart lie?
So what is your favourite editor,
Notepad or vi?

You ever done an in place upgrade?
Join the hacker club;
You thought I meant on the same table,
Well, you're a newbie, bub.

What are ya? Newbie or hacker?

Hackers once programmed in binary,
But now that's sorta changing;
And newbies once avoided USENET,
Ain't social change amazing?

If a newbie and hacker, want a girl,
The newbie guy will get her -
Both would prefer a new T1,
But the newbie hides it better.

I'm a hacker, I'm a hacker.

A hacker types up pages of code,
And fifty-k web sites,
A hacker types long emails,
A newbie, just tpyes.

Hacker or newbie, newbie or hacker,
Pass me the brush to tar ya.
Make your choice, then live your life,
Come on pal; what are ya?

What are ya? You're a newbie.

 -- by aj.
    Who would like to apologise to TISM.
    But who thinks TISM should apologise to him, first.
    Thirty bucks for some crap CD and a shoddily done CD-R.
    What a rip off.